Aug 3, 2021
Today, we discuss a question that a reader submitted recently:
How far is too far? How much do I compromise? I know I'm not perfect. I know I could have showed up more in the bedroom and have said as much. But I do try. It's hard as a woman, wife and now mother of 2. He says I don't listen and no one ever listens. So, he demands I do things I do not like. At times, it's not so bad. I can't handle it when he is angry. He gets rough. And then when I ultimately refuse he is so fed up and angry he leaves me feeling like I just will never be able to make him happy. I am feeling hopeless. And I struggle with knowing if I really need to be doing more or if I'm over compromising. I love my husband. We have been together almost 9 years, and I consider him my best friend. However, at times I wonder if we can ever get past this to live a happy marriage.
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From the Bible
What does God have to say about this topic?
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. – 1 Corinthians 7:3-5
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23
Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord.” – Genesis 4:1
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17
But whether we are at home with the Lord or away from him, we still try our best to please him. – 2 Corinthians 9:10 (CEV)
For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open. – Luke 8:17
Resources
- Who I am in Christ - pdf
- Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud & John Townsend (affiliate link)
- Setting Boundaries in the Bedroom | Hot, Holy & Humorous
- Q&A with J: Boundaries in the Bedroom | Hot, Holy & Humorous
- Are You in an Abusive or Destructive Marriage? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
- Signs of depression in men: What to know (medicalnewstoday.com)
- Faithful Counseling online counselor matching (affiliate link)
- Prevalence of Distress Associated With Difficulty Controlling Sexual Urges, Feelings, and Behaviors in the United States | Psychiatry and Behavioral Health | JAMA Network Open | JAMA Network (10% stat Bonny mentioned)
- Episode 109: Your Sexual Self
- How Should You Pray for Your Spouse? | Hot, Holy & Humorous
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